continuing on

It was shortly there after that my mom left my dad.  As the years progressed, I would hear bits and pieces about how my dad used to beat my mom and how he put my grandma in the hospital.  My family kept it all so hush hush that I'm not sure if it was true or not.  But thats the story of my dad.  There will be more postings about abuse that my brothers suffered at his hands as well as an incident after I grew up.

The beginning

I guess really I should begin at the beginning.....I am going to use this as a theraphy tool, I may not share everything but then again I may share graphic details.  I need to heal my heart and soul. but there is a pattern of abuse in our family.........I'm stopping it with me

I was born in 1975 to a teenage mom and dad..........My mom was 16 when she got pg with me and then had me at 17......She ran away from home near coffeyville, ks to Des Moines, IA where I was born.  I do not know of the reason why my mom left her home but I do know that she told me at one time she was molested by her oldest brother.  They moved us back to kansas when I was 6 mths old and they split up shortly there after.  It was then that the man that I love today as my very own father entered our lives.......He enter them when I was 18 mths old.......Which would have been around Feburary 1977, which could not be right because my little brother Bobby was born in Sept of 77 and that is his dad, there is no denying it.  Each and every day he looks more and more like him.  So I would say I was closer to 16 mths old.  I don't remember much about their rocky relationship but I know my Daddy was in the Navy as a Seabee and had done 3 tours of duty in vietnam.  Vietnam really messed him up........I do remember one time of getting my butt blistered when I was in kindergarten, this was shortly before we left him.  And having to wear pants to the SRS office because I had bruises up and down my legs from where he hit me with a belt....The story behind the punishment

I was in kindergarten in Independance, Ks. (so I was 5) and school got out.  I was suppose to wait at school for my daddy to pick me up but when he didn't show.  I walked home with a friend of the family to Iola's house.  I remember making it over there and being there for awhile.  And then Daddy finally showing up.  He was mad.  He couldn't find me.  He yelled at me for not waiting for him at the school.  He told me that he was going to beat me when he got home.  And boy did he ever.  I can still remember that beating.  I don't remember where my mom was at that time.  I just remember why I got the beating. 

Welcome

I started this blog tonight because of an article that I read.  It was written about my brother's foster parents.  But in that story, my brother talks about some of the abuse we as children suffered at the hands of our mother's ex-husband.  here is a link to the article if you are interested however don't feel  sorry for us as there are many children today who are being abused in some shape or form.  The statics will scare you so I will not post them.

http://www.saljournal.com/news/story/Foster-Finches-for-Father-s-Day-6-20

prefacing

I realized tonight when thinking about what to write that I hadn't said a few things that needed to be said........

Number 1~My abuser and my brothers abuser was never prosacuted (spl), so I will never mention his name.....This is out of respect for another brother who knows very little of the abuse......Not because he was so protected but because he was to young to remember the abuse....He hears second hand about the abuse but has a hard time believing it happened.

Number 2~Some of the accounts of abuse have never been told to other people ever but will play a part in how I grew up and into the woman I have become

Number 3~When I talk about my dad, Bob Rose, these recollections of abuse are from several different people.......While my dad did abuse us, I have chosen to forgive him and love him as he was...He is no longer with us on this earth and my heart aches each and every day for him......No one is perfect.......Dad had his faults...He never got treatment for his PTSD from his time as a Seabee in the Navy serving 3 tours of duty in Vietnam, while this does not excuse his behavior it does atribute to it.......